Thursday, July 8, 2010

Wedding Tears

Oh, what fun wedding planning is. Yesterday I had to leave work and drive to Safeway so I could cry can talk to Kevin.

Kevin and I have been engaged for, oh, eight months now and people are asking about the blessed event. Like perhaps a date. Which they'll all ask you about first thing after you're engaged. I'm talking 15 minutes after when you're still in shock saying, "I thought my hair would be clean! I thought I would be wearing something pretty!" They'll bust in with the "Have you set a date?" It's just bizarre.

But eight months later, it's a legitimate question. And no, we don't have a date. We figured we would let the venue we found sort of dictate the date since there isn't a particular date we really have to have. And no, we don't have a venue.

I have spent the last eight months on researching greater Seattle-Tacoma-Olympia area venues - I have a spreadsheet of 135... and I have found nothing that matches on all points. Frustrated, I hired a planner in April (after a tearful outburst of "I'm going to need a planner and Botox!"). Since then, there have been a few places that really got my hopes up... and then crushed them. Apparently the, to me, seemingly extravagant budget we have of $15,000 is sort of crazy for the area. Once the wedding planner broke the budget down, I saw how far off of what vendors typically charge we are. Oh s#*$.

So we went to an open house at The Loft in Bothell and fell in love. The food was delicious. The space would easily dress up. The rental for the space was cheap! Yes! Yes! Yes! Then the food quote came in. Cue screeching record.

Court in the Square? Yes, I hear the guy can be rather difficult to work with but with a planner to keep on top of contracts and everything we should be good. They have a parking garage available. The space is beautiful and they promise big enough. But the food is 'okay'.

Golden Gardens Bathhouse? I am in l-o-v-e love. It's got charm, and trees, and water, and sand, and meadow, and the price is right. Their website says it fits 150. That will easily hold our 130! But does it really? No.

That was the one that kicked off the waterworks yesterday. I got word from the planner that the biggest she had ever done there was 120 and that that was pushing it. Not to mention space for dueling pianos and a dance floor. I forwarded the email to Kevin adding, "I quit." I was really thisclose to saying, "You. Me. Dress. Suit. Flowers. Vegas. Next weekend?" I am so over it. Completely. Yeah, everyone expects wedding planning to be busy and a bit stressful but they also make it out like it's this otherwise just blissed out time.

Wrong. At the same time that $15,000 isn't much in wedding speak, I often question how wise it is to drop $15,000 on one event. But then I think about the people I want at my wedding and who I will miss out on having there if we elope. It makes my head swirl. So I go back to wanting a 'real wedding' - both of my sisters had piss-poor weddings that said a lot about their piss-poor decision making that led them to be marrying piss-poor grooms. They're both divorced.

I just want to have a great party with great entertainment, great food, some amount of style, lots of love and laughs with all of the people I love and care about. Really, it's a way to honor a lot of the people who have helped me along the way and especially through the rough times. So I guess is that worth $15,000 to me? Yes.

I just don't want to spend that kind of coin on a party that ends up being sucktastic.

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