Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Finally Invitations and What People Can Do To Help

Fingers crossed, the invitations should arrive today and I can keep my wits about me until late enough into the night to assemble them all and stick them in the mail tomorrow. Note to self: assemble invitations first and tuck the pieces into the envelopes later. That part's harder to screw up.

A number of people have asked what they can do to help. I've figured out the #1 thing I need and that is forgiveness for being absentee and flaky recently and for the upcoming month. (Um, holy s*** one month). Just let me know that I can turn down plans and forgive me if I don't get back to you in a timely fashion and remind me if it's past time to get back to you. Seriously, I can't find my butt with both hands right now. But I'm having nightmares about people hating me for being selfish, so I just need your promise of understanding.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Getting Stuff Done!

With my Good Friday holiday, we accomplished a lot. We went from engagement photos to lunch to a meeting with the officiant to getting our marriage license, and booking our ceremony cellist. After a long day, we celebrated with beer and wings. (Can it be Friday again?) It really was a spectacular day.

Saturday was gym, gym, shower, then coffee and going over the to-do list. I don't know if we really accomplished much besides him finally saying that he totally hates the idea of a mad libs guest book. Ohhhkay. Back to the drawing board. It was a beautiful day. My first of the year in capris. After we got home, we spent a couple hours on cleaning and organizing. Mine was mostly in the shed moving stuff around to make more room and taking pictures of stuff we're going to offer to friends and then sell what's left. Some of it I'm sad to see go but by now, I'm just happy about the prospect of not climbing over it anymore.

After a couple hours of that, we went to his brother's house to hang out a while. My wedding accomplishment pride was short-lived when I asked his brother's wife about her sister's wedding plans. "Oh, it's over a year away and she has all of this and that and that done and she's hired a planner that she's BFFs with and talks to her every day and she found the perfect dress on Craigslist but it was off-white and, and, and." My mind translated that to, "I'm a giant failure" and I juusst about got really unhappy. Luckily I figured out a quip, "Sometimes things just fall right into place. Glad it's like that for her!" Because it's been effing hell for me.

All in all though, we had a really fun night and I was happy that I was able to hang out with his brother's wife solo for at least a little while and find stuff to talk about.

Sunday was okay. This whole getting married and making concessions on holidays stuff stinks. I always just get home feeling like I missed the holiday because it wasn't "right". But, of all the holidays, Easter's one of the ones I can give up most easily.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Like I've Said Before...

I rarely force the time to write when I have happy news to report. But maybe I'll start with the happy now and it will help me scrounge up some rose-colored glasses.

Received the flower girls' necklaces I ordered for them. They were about$15 each off of Amazon for some type of pearls. Not sure how genuine or what grade or whatever. I do know that they were listed as original price being about $50. While I think I got a decent deal, I think I'd be kind of pissed if I had spent $50. But, pearl necklaces for eight for $15 each that they can wear plenty and their moms won't stress about damaging them: Good deal.

Received all of the stamps I ordered. Our address, the logo two ways, and "A Toast!". For anyone shopping for custom stamps, I know Etsy is awesome and I like supporting small businesses but, obviously, I also like supporting manufacturing (and they definitely used a CNC to make these) and, while the Etsy turnaround time is longer, I had to pay overnight shipping but otherwise, I got them all super fast and the base price was something like $15, each, tops. I highly recommend Simon Stamps. However, the smell in my office after smoked salmon for lunch and then receiving a brand new rubber stamp... P.U.

I also found a stamp that I was able to cut the middle out of and use the border to make a border around the mail to address.

Received the coasters. Unfortunately, the one stamp with the huge stamped area, doesn't work well with the textured coaster. I need to find new ink (I think this stuff will run when wet anyways) and maybe new coasters. Crap. However, when they're done right, they're going to really great. I like them a lot.

Spent the weekend stamping envelopes. 130 envelopes with one stamp on them and 130 with three stamps. That's a lot of stamping. But now I'm getting a little stressed that the USPS will have a freakout over the white on gray writing. That's just crazy, though, right? Surely people will get their invitations and we'll get the RSVPs, right???

Then I spent the last two nights addressing envelopes. Glad we ordered more than we needed. I burned about seven of them. For instance: one I addressed to my cousin's family: Mark, Cindy, kids, etc. and then her maiden name. Don't know why I'm obsessed with her maiden name. They've been married something like ten years, I like him... don't know. I addressed her birthday card to her maiden name, too.

Figured out how to make a thing so that I can assemble the invitations perfectly and quickly. Duh. That took forever. I work for a company that makes CAM software. We'll make one here. Stupid. And, since I'm not spending $70 for the envelopments Jigster, and it's a computer program, we can make two of them and assemble simultaneously. It will go by quicker, we'll both be pleased by the perfection, and then we can put stamps on them, put them in the mail and get hot dogs and celebrate our behinds off.

Fiance's ACL can wait for surgery. Downside: it's that much longer until we can do some of the things we like to do together. Also, as his schedule worked out he has this week off. Downside of that: he keeps talking about how much he needed this time off and how he's going to do something fun. Okay, Hi, I've reached a breaking point with half the people I work with and I've been sick three weeks of the last six and when I'm not at work I'm at the gym, cleaning, working on wedding stuff, or being guilted into social events because I turn everything down because I have mad s*** to do. Which makes me an a-hole for turning every social invite down and I don't want to be 'that girl' so I go and then when I get home I feel guilty for spending the time that way and for the calories in what I ate/drank. But if I get a salad and iced tea, people say, "Oh, come on, you're not going to become one of those calorie-obsessed people." Because they don't understand that even in the last week when I worked out six times (total of about 2,000 calorie burn) and didn't eat all crazy, I gained four pounds.

Oh, and not only are some of people I work with driving me nuts but I'm scattered, depressed, and unable to focus. = seriously decreased productivity. = I suck.

Bottom line: I have to get back to work. Haven't yet found my rose-colored glasses.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Negative Nellies

Unfortunately, this has gotten away from my initial idea which was to have this great history of all of the fun I had planning and what a great era the engagement was. But, I rarely have time to write and only seem to force time to write when I'm feeling crappy and need an outlet for my toxic. Sorry.

I'm in a bad state of stupids and uglies. It's sunny today and maybe some good weather will help the issues. Or maybe not. I'm just all sorts of sick of the world right now. Sick of this stupid wedding, sick of super stupid work, sick of trying to diet and always feeling like crap about it no matter what. If I'm eating well I'm well aware of the good stuff I'm missing, sick of the social pressure to not diet but be magically skinny, if I'm not eating perfect then I feel guilty for having fun and eating things that taste good.

I really want to hop a plane to anywhere but here.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Boring. Supremely boring.

Life has become a mind-numbingly predictable cycle. Monday-Friday. Go to work during the day, go to the gym when I can, run around doing wedding crap, maybe meet a friend for happy hour, feel guilty for drinking and eating unnecessary calories. Saturday - get up early and spend entire day doing worky type things. Go to the gym, wedding stuff, housework, yardwork. Fiance' gets home any time from 6:30-10:30 p.m. Fall into bed exhausted. Sunday, get up and go to Starbucks. Work on stupid wedding stuff. Go home and work on the house some more. Which still continuously looks like shit. Figure out what of my stuff will have to be boxed up and stay that way. Look around, calculating the hours I've put in, what's left to be done, and feel hopeless. Repeat. I've got a bad case of the stupids and uglies. I want to start driving to somewhere far far away.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Another Sleepless Night

For the last week, I've been waking up in panic over invitations. Now, I realize that it isn't rational and even though my rational part is saying, "Things are fine. They're good. They'll be okay. Everything that can be done right now is. Now go to sleep. That's the top of your to do list right now." I can't.

Or I'll dream that X,X, and X major things didn't get done and two months disappeared on me in a flash and no one else seems to think it's a big deal. I'll be freaking out because we forgot to send invitations or something that really is important - not just 'we don't have programs!' and everyone's just going, "So? It's not a big deal. Chill out."

Last night I went to happy hour instead of the gym and proceeded to eat wings, have four cocktails, and part of an order of fish tacos. I went to bed at 10:00 with the startings of another cold (last one was March 17), trying to get a jump on it and kill it with sleep. Instead, I woke up at 12:30, tossed and turned for an hour, stressed out about the damn invites and guilt over the calories I both consumed and did not burn, and then gave up and tried to watch TV until I was sleepy. It was 4:30 before I got back to sleep and I feel like crap. Maybe I should just give up and take a vacation day to get some stuff done.