Monday, October 18, 2010

On Houses and Finances

Engagement is a strange place financially. When we go out, we still split the check as often as one of us treats the other. Yesterday we got into a strange bit of a quibble over a new rug for what is currently his living room. The quibble started with who was paying for the rug (and the $1 mercury glass votive holders!) which dissolved into something that's been niggling at him for a while. I get to move into a house that he bought almost four years ago and has been making the payments on by himself (I still have an apartment...) and it becomes just as much mine as it is his. Which I can see why that bugs him. Especially since me maintaining a separate household has been a point of contention for a long time (family issues). And here's my issue: if we had house shopped together, this is certainly not the house I would have chosen. All of these other couples get to go buy a house together. I don't actually get any of the pride or excitement of 'becoming a homeowner' it just gradually sort of became mine. Also, while I don't pay directly towards the mortgage, I've bought the majority of the groceries for years now, cleaning supplies, done the cleaning, house sat every week when he's away for work - even when I totally didn't want to, mowed, done yard work... so yeah, while my financial contribution doesn't match his (nor do my earnings) it's not like I haven't contributed to the household.

Really, financially, I just bring about $45,000 in student loans and just enough in savings to pay for the majority of the wedding. But there's not a lot that I can do about that at this point. While I would love to take on an extra job, even I'm not nuts enough to try to take on a part time job in addition to my full time (that includes some business travel) while trying to plan a wedding and get in shape.

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